exo: if i lay here

[rustle]

If I lay here (If I just lay here)
— Suho/Kai. PG-13. 4048 words.
— With the increasing number of death threats thrown at Joonmyun, Baekhyun decides to hire a bodyguard. Interestingly enough, Joonmyun picks the most unlikely candidate — Kim Jongin. (WARNING: Character death)
— Title taken from Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars". Largely inspired by Whitney Houston's "I Have Nothing". For aideshou's 4th challenge.
— As always, thank you, R, for the hand-holding and for preventing me from bursting into ugly tears as I approached the ending. And no, celebratory Salted Caramel Mocha Frappe is NOT in order. Tysm ilu ♥

"How many times do I have to tell you, Baekhyun — I don’t need a bodyguard." Joonmyun breathes out into his cup of coffee and lets the smoke mist his glasses. Baekhyun has been listless since the recent assassination attempt on Joonmyun two weeks back. It happened in one of the small pubs near the company. Joonmyun was halfway through performing his last song when three gunshots were fired — one near his feet, one to the microphone, and the last one to what could have been his abdomen, had he not been quick on his feet. He’s both lucky and unlucky — lucky because he missed the shot, and unlucky because he knows Baekhyun won’t let on until they find a bodyguard for him. "Do we really have to go through this?" "Do I want you to die?" Joonmyun is thankful for the cup covering the frown on his lips. "Maybe you should." "Look." Baekhyun secures his hands on his shoulders, grip warm and tight. "More than anything else, you’re my friend. It’s not so much about protecting my biggest talent and money magnet. I want to keep you safe, Joonmyun. That’s what friends do, don’t they, protect each other?" Joonmyun puts the cup down. "I hate it when you’re right." "Which is all the time. Can’t help it if I’m amazing." Joonmyun laughs for the first time since the new applicant has entered the room, and turns to the boy standing opposite him. He puts on his best smile and takes a deep breath. There is Jungmo and Junsu and Junho and Jongwoon, but Joonmyun picks Jongin, Jongin whose only work experience related to being a bodyguard is having training as an honor guard back in college, Jongin who’s possibly only half the size of the other four. When Baekhyun asks him why, he just shrugs, smiles, and says, "I have a good feeling about him." "Well, you better, or else I’ll kill you." Joonmyun laughs and casts Baekhyun as the number one suspect in the assassination attempt against him. --- The agreement is that Jongin will be living in a house conveniently nearby, but Jongin ends up living in Joonmyun's house. Neither of them has qualms about it, really, especially when Joonmyun discovers that Jongin can be quite skilled with preparing breakfast — but only breakfast. Free weekends are usually spent driving around, looking for a place to eat in, or just lounging in front of the television, waiting for the food to come. The doorbell sounds off and Joonmyun calls out, "I'll get it!" The slightest turning of the doorknob sets off a series of bullets to Joonmyun's front door, and Jongin quickly pushes Joonmyun to his side. "Tell me what to do; I can help!" Joonmyun please, but Jongin shakes his head and pushes him further away from the scene, the pain in his back sharper than ever when he hits the table nearby. "Fucking assassins," Joonmyun mumbles under his breath. "Fucking bodyguards," he adds soon after. It takes a good ten minutes before the shootout ends. Jongin comes out unscathed, hair sticking to his face and sweat dripping from the corners of his face. "Are you hurt?" Jongin asks, eyes apologetic. "My back hurts from when you pushed me to the table. Other than that, I'm good." Jongin quickly approaches Joonmyun, checking for any bruises. There are marks from where the bullets have grazed Joonmyun just lightly, and he flinches at the touch. "I should be used to these things already," Joonmyun says, chuckling a little as he shakes his head. "It's not as if it's the first time anyone has tried to kill me." "You shouldn't be getting used to this, though." Jongin takes a deep breath, then adds, "I mean, that's what I'm here for, and I'm clearly not doing my job well." Joonmyun shakes his head and slaps Jongin lightly on the arm, earning a flinch from the latter. He is in no mood to argue, so he just gets back to his feet and dusts himself off. If Joonmyun's prediction skills are still up to par, Jongin will continue berating himself for the entire encounter, but he's proven wrong when Jongin offers to drive him to the nearest pizza place after "cleaning up the mess outside". Joonmyun furrows his eyebrows a little, trying to hold back the peculiar smile surfacing on his lips, but he fails, eyes widening and smile breaking across his features. Maybe Jongin is different. Maybe. --- Spending 90% of his day with Jongin has led Joonmyun to a number of discoveries. On most occasions, Jongin is quiet and reserved. He laughs at Baekhyun's jokes and attempts at acting cool from time to time, but there's always an empty look in his features, his eyes always dyed a rich black. He lacks the intimidating stance most bodyguards carry, but he has this lazy sort of confidence in the stretch of his body. He always sits opposite Joonmyun or behind him, never beside him, hands always securely fastened to his knees. Jongin dances on the off chance that Joonmyun is holed at home and does not want to be disturbed, and gets embarrassed when dancing in front of an audience. Jongin likes cakes and most sweets, but not chocolates. His favorite kind of rootbeer float is one that doesn't make use of vanilla ice cream. Joonmyun gives Jongin a few days off from work. "Do you have plans?" Joonmyun asks in passing, when they're on their way back from a shoot. "You essentially have the week off; you can do anything." "Go to a coffee shop, maybe? Explore Hongdae at night since I haven't done that in a while. But really, as long as the place has wi-fi, I'll survive." Jongin punctuates his statement with a small smile, but quickly adds, "But if you need any assistance, please don't hesitate to let me know." Joonmyun chuckles. "Jongin, you'll be on vacation. Stop thinking about work for once! Visit your family or something, maybe your friends. I don't know—" "I… don't have a family anymore. Work's all I've got." "And your friends?" "All busy with their married lives and cute kids." Joonmyun lets his shoulders fall and, from the corner of his eye, he can see Jongin's easy confidence wearing off. "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't be sharing this," Jongin says, then adds, "Please do let me know if I can be of assistance tomorrow. I'd be glad to report to work." "Let's go out tomorrow." Joonmyun pauses for a while, studying the way Jongin's features contort a little, the shift from embarrassment to confusion thick in his eyebrows. "My treat." Joonmyun watches as Jongin furrows his eyebrows and opens and closes his mouth every few seconds, the words escaping him, and notes the sparkle in Jongin's eyes. In the eight months that he's known Jongin, this is the first time he's seeing this — Jongin, devoid of the bodyguard exterior, Jongin, the true twenty-four year old that he really is and not the twenty-seven year old he pretends to be. Jongin with his knees slightly apart, arms hanging loosely on his sides, and a small, childish, sidetracked smile lighting his lips. --- Joonmyun pulls Jongin out of bed early to go to the amusement part. Lotte World is a place Joonmyun has always wanted to go to, even when he was much younger. His parents have always been against the idea of letting him stay too long in place intended for kids; they say it's not conducive for learning, and will only make him lazy. This is exactly why they're lined up for the kiddie rides instead of the adult ones so early in the morning. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Jongin asks as one of the attendants fastens the belt and instructs them to hold onto the bars tight. "I don't know, but I'm sure it will be fun!" The ride starts out slow, a narration of the Pharao's Fury playing in the background. At best, the ride is entertaining and has good production value — the details on the figures are intricate, and the sound effects are really good. The cart trembles a little, and the ride suddenly picks up pace, their cart going through a series of loops and twists. Jongin turns to Joonmyun, hair sticking out in at least two different directions. "I thought this was a kids' ride!" Joonmyun laughs. "Fooled you!" The cart suddenly takes a deep dive and Jongin's cursing slowly turns into screaming. Joonmyun just laughs the whole ride through, taking a gander at the sight of Jongin screaming, flailing, just letting go. When the ride ends, they step out of the cart, breathing ragged and heavy, and Jongin erupts into the loveliest peal of laughter. Jongin eventually suggests that they ride the riskier rides in Magic Land, and quickly regrets it when they descend from the Gyro Drop. "I'm not riding that thing ever again," Jongin complains, taking breaks between eating his meal every so often. He takes a few deep breaths, then turns to Joonmyun. "This is worse than getting drunk. I think I'm going to pass out." "You're a bodyguard and you're throwing up after the Gyro Drop experience?" Joonmyun shakes his head, letting loose a small sound of disapproval. "Oh boy. What a huge letdown. I expected more from you." "Is that a challenge—" And then, after a while. "—Sir?" "If you're going to complain, at least make it realistic and drop the "sir"." Jongin laughs a little and quickly hides his lips behind his hand, bowing just slightly. "Then, are you challenging me, Joonmyun… sir?" Joonmyun shakes his head. Some things never change. They save the Gyro Swing for last, after much prodding from Joonmyun and subtle attempts at retaliation from Jongin. Joonmyun gives in to Jongin's request of spending the rest of the day in the indoor park, though, and they are soon greeted by a series of fireworks. The corndogs they're holding are terribly anti-climatic, Joonmyun soon concludes, but a weird feeling settles at the pit of his stomach, especially when Jongin looks at him with crinkled eyes and a bright, bright smile. "Thank you for this. All of this." Jongin worries his lower lip for a while. "I really appreciate it. I… loved it." Joonmyun takes a sharp intake of breath and presses his lips together tight for fear of breaking into a crazy smile. "You're welcome." --- Their small Lotte World escapade makes the news. It's something that Joonmyun has seen coming and has prepared for, but the flurry of questions and news pieces broadcasted about Jongin's day off makes his head spin. "You're not allowed to get too comfy with anyone," he remembers Baekhyun saying. "You're a star. You're a doll everyone can admire. You're not allowed to have emotions." "I'm an artist, Baekhyun. I get up there to express feelings other people can't." Joonmyun narrows his eyes and sneers. "I'm human. I'm supposed to feel everything and complain about it through singing." "Emotions make you flawed." Baekhyun tears his gaze from Joonmyun. "Emotions ruin people, careers." "Not mine, Baek, sorry. Not mine." Over the next few weeks, Joonmyun learns more things about Jongin's life before being a bodyguard. He was among the roster of honor guards that were usually roused during state visits. He was part of the dance troupe for some time and had initially wanted to be a professional dancer, but his parents were against this idea. He excelled in all of his classes and was quite the achiever and he had, in fact, known Baekhyun back in high school. "He's two years my senior. I'm sure he doesn't remember me." Jongin laughs a little. "I didn't have much friends when I was still in school. I was constantly moving from place to place, so I figured it would be better that way." "Afraid of attachments, eh?" Jongin nods. "Maybe. A little." The number of times they sneak out to grab a cup of coffee or two grows in an increasingly alarming rate, and Joonmyun slowly runs out of excuses and sticky notes where he usually leaves messages for Baekhyun on. It's a whirlwind of changes and Joonmyun doesn't know if he can still keep up and keep his feet firmly on the ground, or if he's letting himself be blown away. "Let's change that," Joonmyun whispers in Jongin's ear, and runs his fingers along the angled plane of Jongin's cheek. Jongin smiles, and Joonmyun shivers a little as he feels the movement in Jongin's muscles. "Blow me away." Joonmyun learns about Jongin's being ticklish by accident. They're hiding from the media today, playing detectives trying to get past tight mall security. It's Jongin's idea to dress up as old people in order to get out. "No one will even try to get in our way," Jongin promises, the smile on his lips bright. "If this doesn't work, you're fired." "I'd like to see you try." It doesn't quite go as planned, because Joonmyun's dress is too long and he trips on his own skirt, falling onto Jongin in a heap of limbs and laughter. Joonmyun's face is shoved into Jongin's chest, and the media will probably see them any minute now, but Joonmyun can't be bothered to get up — one, because Jongin looks horrible in a wig and he just has have a good laugh about this; and two, because Jongin's giggles are almost like that of a child's. Rich, raw, real. They continue the ticklefest once they successfully make it to the car and Joonmyun pushes Jongin against the backseat, their bodies flush with heat. They're all giggles and heavy breathing until Jongin reaches for Joonmyun, pulling him down for a kiss, their bodies now pressed so close to each other. Joonmyun doesn't pull away until their breathing falls in step with each other and, when Joonmyun does, Jongin is fashioning that same childish smile Joonmyun has seen just a few days back. "You're going to pay for this," Joonmyun says, a playful sneer in the undertone of his voice. Jongin's smile is smug. "I will. I really will." "You're lucky the press didn't get you this time. You're lucky the security guards didn't catch you." Joonmyun hangs his head low. He has neither the energy not the will to argue tonight, not after battling with the better half of his senses and shunning his voice of reason that keeps telling him to distance himself from Jongin. Baekhyun is right this time; if the security guards saw them and what they were doing in the car, they'd be hearing a thing or two, maybe even more, from the press right now. "At least have the decency to protect the name you've made for yourself, Joonmyun, if you're willing to go to great lengths just to get what you want. At least try not add to the potential list of controversies that Kim Suho might face, like drug trafficking or drunk driving—" "Or having sex with his bodyguard in his car, the one that Byun Baekhyun, best manager in the world, bought for him. Yeah. I get it. "Joonmyun—" Baekhyun breathes heavily, the dissatisfied exhale warm on Joonmyun's cheek. "This is probably none of my business, but I don't want to see you get hurt. He's your bodyguard. You, of all people, should know that getting together with the people closest to you is not exactly a good idea." Joonmyun smiles, cheeks warming up a little. He looks at Baekhyun for a good ten seconds before Baekhyun replies with a short and curt, "Oh." Joonmyun moves closer to Baekhyun and traces the length of his jaw with a finger, punctuating the gesture with a soft kiss of the cheek. "I won't get hurt," he promises, locking his hands with Baekhyun for a while and letting go just in time for Jongin's arrival. "I promise." The travels become more frequent, what with Joonmyun touring all over Asia, and Jongin soon fits himself beside Joonmyun — always on Joonmyun's left, a third of a step behind him. When fans crowd around Joonmyun and get pushy, Jongin pulls Joonmyun close to him to shield him from the pressing people. Baekhyun always leads the way, eyes sharp and stare loaded with meaning, even if all he ever asks Joonmyun is, "Are you sure about this?" Jongin's grip on the plastic bottle he's using for the rehearsal tightens. "No, but I'd like to see how this plays out." "This is not a game, Joonmyun. You're receiving death threats left and right. You can even put Jongin in danger! You could—" "I could make the biggest mistake of my life and die happy." Joonmyun reaches for Baekhyun's free hand and holds onto it tightly, giving it the occasional squeeze. "They're out to kill me because I saw the face of the person who killed my last bodyguard, not because I'm growing closer to my new one. So let's help the cops solve this before it's too late and we all walk away with smiles on our faces, how does that sound?" "Idealistic and stupid," Baekhyun quickly replies, but rushes, "But feasible. I just don't want two dead people on my plate, Joonmyun." Joonmyun chuckles. Trust Baekhyun to get paranoid over every single thing. "I'm a big boy now. I can look after myself and Jongin." "But can you look after your feelings? Your heart?" Joonmyun takes a deep breath. That's something he's yet to find out. --- The police make progress with the investigation, successfully pinpointing the person behind the crime. They've pinned down the criminal's routine and if, all goes well, they'll be able to bust in and capture him at 8:35 a.m. sharp, five minutes before he leaves for work. But nothing ever goes according to plan. The criminal somehow gets wind of the situation and manages to leave at eight in the morning, but doesn't report to work. "He could be anywhere," the chief officer says on the other end of the line, and Baekhyun shakes his head. "In the coffee shop, in McDonald's, on his way to Jeju— Who knows where he could be." "He could be anywhere." "Yes, sir. We'll try our best to track him down and we'll let you know as soon as we—" "No." Baekhyun balls his hands into fists, trying hard not to think of the many possibilities that the criminal's disappearance entails. "Go to MBC. Suho's appearing in the morning show and it's ending in twenty minutes. Secure the premises. Make sure he gets home safely." "Got it, sir." Baekhyun ends the call and quickly dials Jongin's number. "No matter what happens, Jongin, do not let Joonmyun out of your sight. Do not—" "— I'm just backstage. I can swoop in and get him out of here anytime." "Good. I'll be there before the show ends." The trip to MBC is the most excruciating ten minutes of Baekhyun's life. He'd be there faster if not for the traffic, but everything seems to work against him today, from the unusually heavy flow of cars to the lack of parking in the building. He sees one of the cars pulling out from a parking spot and he quickly secures the area. 8: 55. There's still time. He quickly makes his way to the recording studio, standard smile and bright eyes intact as he greets the station staff he sees on the way. "Suho's recording here, right?" he asks the guard outside Studio B, and the guard nods and offers him a smile. And then, from the inside, he hears three gunshots. Baekhyun pushes the door open and is greeted by the sight of a bleeding Joonmyun in Jongin's arms, Jongin not unscathed, either, and a man bumping into him. A pool of police officers suddenly comes in from behind, assaulting the man, and Baekhyun falls to the floor, unable to find his legs, limbs, and just gapes at the entire scene as Jongin carries to the same exit where Baekhyun is. "He disguised himself as a cameraman and fastened the gun to the camera. I was able to shield Joonmyun from the first shot, but the floor director was an accomplice of the gunman and he fired at Joonmyun and—" Baekhyun places a hand on Jongin's shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. "It's not your fault. I should've told him not to go to the show in the first place. That thing's a flop." Jongin laughs a little and nods in agreement. A few hours after, Baekhyun faces the media in what turns out to be the toughest press conference yet. Too many questions spoil the main point of the conference, so Baekhyun goes straight to explaining what happened, how it happened, and what will happen after, completely ignoring the many questions being posed. "Will you be refunding the money people paid for Suho's concert this weekend, though?" "We're refunding it in full if they won't be attending the tribute concert at all, but we're giving back half of the money they paid if they do attend. We'll be showing Suho's best performances. Missing it will be the worst decision of your life." Baekhyun gives the media a curt nod and excuses himself. Not surprisingly, they only receive a few requests for the total refund. The dome is filled with fans, all holding fansigns with Joonmyun's name plastered all over them. The first video they play is of Joonmyun's debut performance, followed by his first Mutizen in Music Bank. There's also his acceptance speech when he receives his first Daesang. And then, the most peculiar video of Joonmyun plays on the big screen. Joonmyun's holding a banana and singing his heart out while decked in practice clothes, his bangs pulled back. Baekhyun can hear his voice in the background. And then there's Jongin's low laughter, too. Towards the middle of the video, they join Joonmyun in singing his debut song, and Jongin gives them quite a good dance performance. Baekhyun suddenly feels weight on his shoulder and, when he turns, he sees Jongin. "I figured he'd want this — he'd want everyone to see how much he enjoyed singing more than anything in this world." Jongin smiles at him, and Baekhyun finds himself following suit. "I hope you don't mind. I had to steal your digital camera from your dresser while you were asleep." "I thought you were a professional bodyguard, not a professional thief." "Well, I have a few neat tricks up my sleeve," Jongin declares, a proud and smug smile on his lips. Baekhyun shakes his head and puts an arm around Jongin to pull him closer. They stay near the stairway to the stage, watching Joonmyun's performances, from those that are rehearsed and are perfect in every way, to those that are of him basically just goofing off and generally having a good time. Baekhyun nods slowly and thinks, yes, Jongin's right — Joonmyun would have loved everyone to know just how much he enjoyed singing his heart out, be it at three in the morning or five in the afternoon. He hates it when Jongin's right and hates it even more when Joonmyun is, which is half the time when Baekhyun is right. Maybe he doesn't mind. Not anymore. --- a/n: 1. The Gyro Drop and Gyro Swing are real rides in Lotte World. I swear, do not attempt to ride them if you're not up to the test. Just. Don't. 2. This was also partly inspired by the movie "The Bodyguard", except I can't really remember most of the plot anymore. 3. Yes, Suho and Baekhyun had something going on in the past. 4. Yes, I can write something happy and not kill off anyone. Maybe next time. Maybe.

Comments

[oldriane.livejournal.com]

so, joonmyun character is dead?

[onyu.livejournal.com]

Yes, he is.

[oldriane.livejournal.com]

D: /because the description of character death was so smooth that i was hoping he didnt die otl
thank you for sharing~

[onyu.livejournal.com]

And thank you, too, for reading :)

[daeseol.livejournal.com]

oh my god why :(

i am not really sure if i should be thankful this isn't extremely heartbreaking thanks to the tribute concert and somehow light mood of baekhyun and jongin but IT IS STILL SAD :((

but still this is cool. bodyguard!jongin is cool. like really cool. hope to see a happy!sukai fic soon from you~

sobs at your heart. thanks for this bb~ <3

[onyu.livejournal.com]

Sorry for breaking your heart, and thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you liked it :)

[panic18.livejournal.com]

why why why would you do that T_T
though, at first i thought that jongin´s gonna get killed : (
thanks for this. there´s not enough sukai fics boohoo.

[onyu.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry! I was actually supposed to kill them both, but anyway... Thank you, too, and I'm glad you liked it :)

[noxiouscherries.livejournal.com]

omg joomyun died, i can't ;A; it's been so long since i last read sukai and then suho in this fic--

[onyu.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for breaking your heart like that :( Thank you so much for reading, though! :)

[nighttimefalls.livejournal.com]

tears in my eyes how joonmyun jongin whyyyyyyyy ;;
you really need to write something gag-worthy next time ok ;;

[onyu.livejournal.com]

I promise never to kill of anyone ever again, okay ;_____; I'll try to write something happy?

Thanks for reading, Lia! :)

[shouxian.livejournal.com]

A/N 3:
"Joonmyun—" Baekhyun breathes heavily, the dissatisfied exhale warm on Joonmyun's cheek. "This is probably none of my business, but I don't want to see you get hurt. He's your bodyguard. You, of all people, should know that getting together with the people closest to you is not exactly a good idea."

Joonmyun smiles, cheeks warming up a little. He looks at Baekhyun for a good ten seconds before Baekhyun replies with a short and curt, "Oh."

At least I got something guessed right in this LUL

And that was such a cute and nice little fic despite the character death.
I think I partly blame that on Jongin and Baekhyun speaking in light tones at the tribute concert.
And I would very muchly like to see those videos of the three of them goofing around. Yey.

[onyu.livejournal.com]

Glad you spotted that tiny BaekHo part! :)

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the fic. And yes, it'd be great if the video actually existed, lol. Again, thank you for reading!

[seung-is-my-ho.livejournal.com]

Suho TT____TT oh well I knew it was coming anyway, but still.. :( the tribute concert somehow made me feel less sad, even though character deaths always leave me pressed. I really liked the dynamic of idol/bodygaurd going on :) It seemed very realistic, like this could be happening in an alternate universe right now. I will now go troll your lj for hopefully a happier fic ~ ♥ ♥ ♥

[onyu.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm glad that the dynamics came off as realistic :) I'll try to write happier fics next time, haha.

Again, thank you!